A First-Timer's Guide to Our Jewish Wedding

Never been to a shul or a Jewish wedding before? You're in good company. Here is a short guide on what to expect, so you can relax and enjoy the day.

What actually happens at a Jewish wedding?

A Jewish wedding is made up of numerous traditions, some dating back thousands of years. Each tradition carries its own deep meaning that has been passed down through countless weddings. Some happen before the ceremony, some during, and some after. Below is a rundown of what you'll see on our day.

What's a tish?

Tish means "table" in Yiddish. Before the ceremony, the groom sits with family and friends at a table, traditionally offering some words of Torah teaching, though it's often interrupted (on purpose!) with singing, toasting, and good-natured heckling. It's a festive, relaxed warm-up before things turn more formal.

What's a bedeken?

The bedeken is the veiling ceremony. The groom, accompanied by family and friends singing and dancing, comes to see the bride before the ceremony and places the veil over her face. The tradition recalls the biblical story of Jacob, who was tricked into marrying the wrong sister because her face was covered. By veiling Sinéad himself, David confirms he's marrying the right woman. It's also read more broadly as a moment about looking past outer beauty to the whole person.

What's a ketubah?

The ketubah is the Jewish marriage contract, traditionally written in Aramaic, outlining the groom's obligations to the bride. Today many couples also treat it as a piece of art. Ours will be signed by witnesses before the ceremony and read at the wedding. You may see it hanging near the entrance or close to the chuppah.

What's a chuppah?

The chuppah is the canopy the couple marries under. It represents the new home Sinéad and David are building together. The chuppah is open on all sides to represent a home that is welcoming to guests. The ceremony itself happens under the chuppah, and this is the closest equivalent to what you might think of as "walking down the aisle" and exchanging vows.

What are the sheva brachot?

Sheva brachot means "seven blessings." They are a set of blessings recited over a cup of wine under the chuppah. They touch on themes like joy, love, and the hope that the couple's happiness will be like that of the very first people in the Garden of Eden. You'll likely hear them chanted or sung in Hebrew. It's traditional for these same seven blessings to be repeated at festive meals throughout the week following the wedding, so don't be surprised if you hear the phrase again if you're around for the days after.

Why does everyone cheer when a glass breaks?

At the very end of the ceremony, the groom (or in some cases both partners) steps on a glass, wrapped in a cloth, breaking it underfoot. Traditionally, it's a reminder of the destruction of the Temple in Jerusalem, symbolizing that even at the height of personal joy, there's an awareness of loss and the world's brokenness. The breaking of the glass is the moment everyone's waiting for! It marks the conclusion of the ceremony and is your cue to shout "Mazel tov!" (congratulations/good luck). After the glass breaks, it is time to celebrate.

What's the hora?

The hora is the joyful circle dance you'll see at the reception. Guests link arms or hands and dance in a big circle, and at some point the bride and groom are often lifted up on chairs in the middle of it. Don't worry about knowing the steps; there aren’t any. It's mostly a big, happy shuffle in a circle, and everyone is welcome to join in. If you're asked to help lift a chair, keep both hands firmly on it and smile for the photos. Please don’t drop us!

Will I need to cover my head?

At Jewish ceremonies, many men choose to wear a kippah (skullcap) in the sanctuary. We had kippot made especially for our wedding and they'll be at the entrance to the sanctuary for any guest who'd like to take one. Feel free to wear one if you feel comfortable doing so.

What should I wear?

Treat it as you would any formal wedding: smart and a little on the conservative side is a safe bet, especially for the ceremony. Details on our specific dress code are on the main wedding website page.

Is there anything I shouldn't do during the ceremony?

Mostly just the usual: phones on silent, no chatting once things get underway.

Do I need to bring a gift?

Whatever's normal for you is fine as there is no special Jewish-wedding gift etiquette to worry about.

Anything else I should know?

Mostly: come with an open mind, don't worry about getting it "right," and be ready to dance. Nobody expects guests to know the traditions inside out. If you're ever unsure what's happening or what to do, just follow the lead of the people around you, or ask one of the wedding party. Jewish weddings are some of the most joyful, high-energy celebrations you'll ever be part of — full of singing, dancing, and a room full of people genuinely delighted to be there. Come ready to let loose, and we promise you'll leave with sore feet and a big smile. We can't wait to celebrate with you.